Sirius Fowl
by sakurademonalchemist
Summary: Lily Evans was no fool. She sent her son to her birth sister Angeline Fowl, in case of their death. Now Sirius is helping his brother trick the fairies, survive life in the magical community, and trying to stay relatively sane in this insane world.
1. Chapter 1

The day Voldemort went after the Potters, he had no idea that he was setting in motion a plan set up by a crafty muggleborn named Lily Potter. Or that he was about to bring the Wizard world to it's knees.

He went in, marked Harry and died for his efforts. Or in the nearest sense of the word. So now Harry was an orphan and Voldemort is a shade with a penchant for forbidden curses bent on revenge.

James of course, had no idea what his wife had planned in case the Dark Lord showed up. Or her connection to a certain family in Ireland.

Of course Sirius found out this fact quite by accidentally after overhearing a conversation when Lily happened to be talking to her actual birth sister. He confronted her about it, and she admitted she was up to something. Something to keep her newborn son safe. Since he found out about it, she brought him into the plan.

So at least one person was in on her scheme. Which would only go into effect if both her and James were dead. Sirius knew the basic gist of the plan, and why she was doing it.

Lily had lost her faith in Dumbledore and for good reason. She had it on good faith he was up to something ever since Snape had mentioned an odd look in the old goat's eye when he heard a prophecy being made.

At least Sirius had a good idea where to look for his godson should things go bad. And a new name to look for. He really appreciated the trust Lily showed him by giving him that information. And he definitely understood paranoid.

So when Voldemort hit the house, Sirius showed up to ensure that no one from the Order had picked up his godson. Hagrid seemed pretty upset that little Harry was missing. Dumbledore, even more so. He wanted to put Harry with Lily's sister Petunia. Since Sirius knew that Petunia was her adopted sister, he knew that Dumbledore was lying about the blood wards.

The old goat began the hunt for Harry, never knowing that the one person who could tell him was under his nose the entire time.

* * *

_Meanwhile in Ireland..._

Angeline Fowl looked at the small baby in the house elf's diminutive arms. Eyes of pure emeralds looked at her, and she knew.

Her beloved sister, Lily, was dead. Lily had contacted her once she found her original adoption papers a week after she had gotten married to James. Ever since then they stayed in contact. When Lily found out that she was pregnant, they began to meet discreetly. Both had people who wanted them dead, whether it was because of association with their spouse or just annoying the wrong people. Angeline happened to become pregnant a month after Lily, and they decided to set up a play date when the children were older.

Then Lily found out that the resident nut job who terrorized the local community she lived in was after her and her family. That was when she came up with a plan to protect her son.

Since no one in the community was aware of the fact that they were sisters, and vice-versa, Lily and Angeline made a proper cover story in case the madman killed her and James. Artemis and Harry weren't that too far apart in age, so pretending Harry was a twin brother would be simple enough to fake.

They would even change his first name to protect him further and to make it easier for his godfather to find him in case of an emergency.

Surprisingly enough her husband was willing to help with the ruse, particularly when she mentioned the fact that Lily was a very brilliant woman. It was a very high possibility that her son had inherited her brains.

Now she had to tell her husband that they had a new son to take care of. Not really a problem since Lily had mentioned that there was a trust fund which would pay them to take care of her son in case of their death.

Which would go a long way to rebuilding his empire.

Luckily for him, Sirius and Artemis seemed to get along just fine. And Butler seemed willing to protect the new Fowl, even if he was only a Fowl by adoption. It didn't hurt that Sirius had the aura of a puppy.

* * *

For ten years things were fairly normal, if you didn't count the odd happenings around the boys. Like when someone who vexed one ended up with clashing hair colors for no apparent reason. Artemis and Sirius were extremely close, almost like the twins they claimed to be. It didn't hurt that the two happened to share that odd way of talking to each other without words that many actual twins share.

Even if Sirius knew already that he was really Artemis' cousin and not his brother. But he still called Angeline his mother, since she practically was his anyway. Even Fowl Sr. loved the kid.

Sirius was as brilliant, if not more so than Artemis. Unlike his brother, Sirius had a genuine interest in martial arts and cooking. With a lot of one on one time with Butler, he was at black belt level in months. He was easily a professional cook in five months.

He also had a very large interest with ancient runes, particularly Egyptian.

They were eleven when the owls started arriving. Sirius had a good idea why Artemis got a letter too. Angeline mentioned that his mother had a special power. It was why their parents originally gave her to the Evans family.

What they didn't know was that Angeline had the same power. And she passed it on to her son. Somehow Sirius knew that the people who ran this Hogwarts place weren't too happy when the two sent back a letter saying they would take their chances with private tutors.

Why would they decline such an invitation? It was simple really. Sirius happened to be in contact with a fellow Irishman named Seamus Finnegan, who experienced the same odd occurrences when he was younger such as hair changing colors for no apparent reason. Seamus said he was a 'half-blood', which upon further questioning proved to be highly informative.

Artemis found the whole thing very interesting. Which is why he brought Sirius into his plan to rob fairies.

As an Irish raised kid with magic, he believed in the existence of the Fae. As the older brother of a genius who is also the heir to a criminal organization that spanned over a hundred years, he tends to take things in stride. Hence why he agreed to help Artemis when he finally made his move.

That was a month ago, and several things happened at once.

One, Artemis Fowl senior takes the _Fowl Star_ out to Russia and is hit with a missile of some sorts, resulting in him going missing and several tons of cola being dumped into the sea.

Two, the owls finally take the hint and quit showing up at the house. (This is probably due to Sirius finally giving Butler the all clear to use said birds as target practice. Butler then started showing the boy how to shoot a twenty two caliber hand gun.)

Three, Angeline starts a downward spiral in her mental state. So now Sirius and Artemis opt for home school for a while.

Four, both boys are taken to the nearest alley to get their wands (with Butler discreetly tailing them) and begin their magic lessons.

* * *

A full year of magic lessons, research, and dealing with a rather persistent old man who kept coming back. Sirius had to use a few of his more..._creative_...moves he learned from Butler to get rid of the people the old man kept sending after him. The man with the spinning fake eye was particularly persistent.

Apparently he impressed the guy, since he actually commended Sirius for the spinning kick he used on him twice. Afterwords he never showed up again. Further inquiry to Seamus proved useful as the boy identified the old man as Alastor Moody, the magic version of a Secret Service. Their main job was to capture magic users who went 'dark' or some such nonsense.

When he asked about the older man with bad taste in color combinations, he was surprised to find out that the man in question was none other than Albus Dumbledore...the same person who ran Hogwarts.

While all this was going on, Angeline Fowl's mental state deteriorated quite rapidly. They worried about her, since even the magical hospital in London proved useless. At least they accepted her status as a 'squib', which according to Seamus meant she was magically born, but not magic compatible.

Now Artemis was running internet ads searching for a fairy. Particularly one that possessed the Book, with a capital 'B'.

* * *

It took him eleven months, two weeks and three days, but eventually he struck faerie gold in Ho Chi Minh city. Sirius decided to stay at the manor just in case.

He spent his days waiting for his brother to return by brushing up on his Egyptian hieroglyphs. Somehow, he had the feeling he would be needing it very soon. Nearby the house elf known as Root brought him a drink, tea of course. Sirius had little liking for coffee, too bitter. He noticed the book and politely asked, "Brushing up, Master Fowl?"

This was part of Root's instructions. Once Sirius had been accepted into the family, he was to call him by his new name. The less the name Potter or Harry was said, the better. Sirius had only asked once about his birth parents. Root was told to tell him whatever he wanted to know. And Root would definitely comply with that request, because unlike most witches, Lily Potter had been an exceptionally kind mistress, even going so far as to ask Root's opinion on what uniform he would like to wear.

Sirius had been told of the problem with giving clothes to a house elf once he was old enough to understand. Like Lily he choose an alternate route to keeping his new partner in crime well dressed. Root had hoped he would see the loophole to the no clothes for elves rule. Bloody wizards.

"Yeah, Art has found something he calls the Book of the People. According to him it's the bible of the Fae."

Another thing Root liked about his master? He preferred to use the olde terms for things. Names come and go, but when it came to magic it was better for the original terms.

"The Book? How on earth did he get a hold of that?"

"Bribed some sprite with spiked Irish whiskey. Why? Do you know how to read it?"

Root was a quiver with excitement. The house elves had long since lost their original magic. But that never meant they couldn't still read the old language! And there was something Sirius was unaware of...the only reason the wizards had stolen their freedom to begin with is that they captured several elves on vacation hundreds of years ago.

Here was the perfect opportunity to free himself and the others.

"Yes, Master Fowl! All house elves are descended from the old country. Our parents teach us the olde language so the power wouldn't be lost completely!"

Sirius grinned. Here was a chance to help his brother and the house elves in one go. He could translate the book before Artemis ever got back!

Sirius went into the study, and opened up the file his brother just sent. There it was, in a language he could just get the gist of.

Root looked very excited about this.

_The Booke of the People._

_Being instructions to our magicks _

_and life rules_

_Carry me always, carry me well._

_I am thy teacher of herb and spell._

_I am thy link to power arcane._

_Forget me and thy magick shall wane._

_Ten times ten commandments there be._

_They will answer every mystery._

_Cures, curses, alchemy._

_These secrets shall be thine, through me._

_But, Fairy, remember this above all._

_I am not for those in the mud who crawl._

_And forever doomed shall be the one._

_Who betrays my secrets one by one._

Sirius looked at Root.

"This is serious. Are you sure you want to doom yourself?"

"They never specify what doom is mentioned, Master Fowl."

So they set to work, with Root reading aloud the words and Sirius faithfully typing the translation word for word. It took them a full three hours, but they pulled it off. Since Sirius had a love of ancient runes, he decided to memorize the letters.

That took him a full week since he was well acquainted with Egyptian hieroglyphs. By that time Artemis had quit trying to hex him for decoding the Book before he landed. Butler watched the whole thing in amusement. Why? Sirius had hit Artemis with a color changing spell and the boy was bright blue.

* * *

One month, and already there was a change in the household. Root had performed the olde Ritual mentioned in the book, and was now taller and stronger than before. His magic had been fully returned too.

Strangely, instead of going straight back to the fairies, he stayed with Sirius. When asked by Butler why, he got an interesting answer.

"Elves outlive humans by hundreds of years. I will serve Master Fowl until he dies, then I will go home."

Butler gained a new appreciation for Root, since he showed loyalty above all else.

* * *

Two months, things settled down. Even though both boys were technically second years in term of schooling, they once again declined to go to Hogwarts. For the simple reason that they didn't want to deal with inept teachers. They had read Lockhart's books, and once he announced that he would be taking the DADA post at Hogwarts the boys unanimously agreed to avoid normal school again.

* * *

Three months, and another new change occurred. Sirius was bored with waiting for Artemis to capture a fairy with Butler. So he took position at another ancient oak next to a bend in the river. Butler had apparently told Artemis that his brother was perfectly capable of dealing with a minor fairy...especially since Root was his backup.

What he didn't know was that Sirius had been wondering about the Ritual. Enough to actually try it when Root wasn't looking.

He never expected it to actually work! Or to grow wings! Root watched in fascinated horror as his master performed the Ritual...

_Sirius took an oak acorn from the bend in the tree under the full moon. As he went to the opposite side of the river with a bit of a running jump, he began to dig. He remembered the words very clearly for some reason. As the acorn touched the ground, he felt his back start to hurt. Wondering if this was a consequence of performing a Fae ritual with no fairy blood in him, he hear a loud rip._

_He took a look back, and gaped._

_He had sprouted wings. And from what he could tell they were owl wings. Looking down he saw a wolf's tail._

_Suddenly the wings retracted, and the tail ended up stuck on his backside. How the hell was he going to explain this to his brother? Artemis would never let him live this down!_

_Sirius and Root began to head home, since the moon was going down. Once the sun came up, Sirius looked behind him._

_In shock he realized the tail was finally gone._

Artemis had been furious that his brother had done something so stupid, as was Butler. But they did learn something valuable. Sirius had taken a creature inheritance test, and had come up with three different creatures, as had Artemis.

Sirius had the blood of an owl/Fairy crossbreed, long since extinct. He also had werewolf blood through blood adoption of a Remus Lupin into his father's family long before he was born, and a Sidhe from another uncle. But the most surprising revelation was the adoption of a Severus Snape into the Evans/Fowl line on Lily's end. It gave him the blood of a siren.

Which would explain his unusual talent at the flute. Whenever he put his mouth on his flute, what came out was often considered an unearthly sound that was both disturbing yet entrancing to hear. Many times Butler would find himself distracted without realizing it for at least five minutes when Sirius played his flute.

Which he often did since it relaxed him and his often stressed out younger brother.

* * *

Four months. Four months of almost no success. Aside from learning their creature inheritances, the fact that Sirius was related to King Arthur (Artemis and Sirius were both surprised on that front) through his mother, and that Sirius had more than enough gold to rebuild the Fowl empire four times over when he reached seventeen.

So yeah, it had been a productive four months. But Artemis still wanted to go through his scheme to kidnap a fairy. So Sirius opted to hold down the fort again and help Juliet prepare the cell just in case. He had a feeling today would signal the moment when they entered everyone's perspective radar.

Not that he already hadn't. Unlike Artemis who worked in the shadows, once their father went missing he broke through everyone perception of the brothers. He made a name for himself in their organization. As far as spies and the police were concerned, Sirius Fowl was no criminal mastermind, and only followed the orders of his younger brother, usually acting like an enforcer.

He personally made sure everyone believed that he was a follower and not a leader. Which was perfect in case someone tried to use him to get to his brother. No one would believe that Sirius was perfectly capable of running the show if something happened to Artemis. They would expect the whole thing to fall apart within days. Not for it to come back at full strength and better than ever.

Still, when Artemis and Butler returned with a duffel full of Fairy, he gaped.

"Captain Holly Short, LEPrecon. You have got to be joking. I thought they were above using bad cliches. At least they got rid of the tacky outfits."

Artemis smirked at him.

"And I know you too well little brother. Now there will be no talking to you for months at least."

Butler smothered a grin, watching the two interact when Artemis proved right was always amusing. Mainly because neither of the brothers were willing to kill each other when the other got a bit of a big head. They usually just hexed each other with clashing colors or easy to fix ailments. Not his problem.

* * *

Putting the elf in the newly made cell, they awaited for Artemis' trap to go off and for the real show to begin. As a precaution Sirius removed all his favorite plants with help from Root to one of his birth parent's vacation houses. He'd heard about the bio bomb the fairies had. He did not want to have all his plants killed off during one of his brother's schemes.

Root had opted to stay there, with agreement from Sirius. Someone had to look after the Devil's snare in case something went wrong.

Not that there wasn't a slightly larger one in one of the cellars. As a safety precaution mind you.(That and they needed something to guard the emergency funds.)

Still, Sirius was there when the fairy finally woke up. Juliet was the one to inform him of it.

"So this is what the leprechauns look like now. At least you finally grew a better taste in clothes. The top hat and leggings ensemble is so cliché now."

Holly stared at him. The boy's whole look screamed enforcer, and his eyes weren't shielded in the least. She tentatively tried a _mesmer. _Nothing.

"Yeah, mind control doesn't work on someone who's blind as a bat without his glasses or contacts on."

Half blind? Which meant he would have to get closer for her to pull it off. Was he that foolish?

"I can't see clearly either. Maybe you should come closer?"

The boy half shrugged. He began to step closer...then smirked.

"Next time you try to fool someone, make sure their brother isn't as brilliant as Artemis. Or been informed about the dangers of fairies by an elf."

The way he said it clued her in. She hadn't warned them about several fairy magics used on humans. They had another elf who told them. They question was who, and if she had time to rescue him as well. What he said next stopped her cold.

"Root was surprisingly informative about fairy magic."

_Root? Could Commander Root be in league with the Mud Men?_

He left, leaving her with a lot of worries about her commander being a traitor.

* * *

"What on Earth did you say to that elf? She looks like her puppy just run over."

"The only thing I happened to mention to her is that Root warned me about their magic. Why?"

"Ah. Then perhaps someone she knows well is named Root and she believes that he betrayed her."

"Maybe a commanding officer? We could use this to our advantage."

"True."

* * *

An interesting fact about his brother. Sirius had carefully culminated a false persona when he went to do jobs for the family business. He was particularly fond of breaking knee caps, and very good at it. He came off often as a brute of an enforcer, not used to thinking for himself.

What people didn't realize was that he talked out each order for force with Artemis, working out every detail and whether it would come back to haunt them later. Root did a very thorough background checks into each target, every little detail.

It had saved them from making a bad choice at least four times. The first time it happened, he actually saved Sirius from getting shot by the target...who happened to be an unregistered member of the nearby gun club through an old enemy. Which meant he was well used to carrying a gun.

Sirius tipped off the local cops, and they arrested the man, removing the gun and putting him in jail. From there it was very simple to arrange someone to go in and leave the message they originally wanted Sirius to leave.

The second time Root located an interesting business the man had, which was tied to a gang cartel in southern Ireland. Something even Butler missed because the man never made contact with it except through fourth parties.

This gang was now under the employ of the Fowl network, under the thumb of Sirius himself through a rather thorough blackmail. They never saw their new employer or who they were now paying a hundred million pounds to each year.

And that money went directly into his new account in Gringotts, which made it impossible for the muggle police to track it and make a raid. The goblins were more than happy to keep this from those looking for Harry Potter for ten percent of the gold that came into it.

One thing that the goblins loved about the Fowl brothers? They loved gold as much as the goblins themselves did. And making it through any means possible. Another thing was that once you earned their respect and loyalty you had it for life. Something the Gringotts goblins had earned the first day they met the two. Which meant neither of the brothers would even consider the idea of backstabbing the goblin nation without having a damn good reason to.

Gold would come and go but loyalty to them was forever. A distinct Hufflepuff trait. A proverbial snake among the badgers as it were. In fact Sirius had once mentioned that if they were ever forced to go behind the goblins backs, they could expect a very large share of gold in return.

Finding out that little detail resulted in the Fowl brothers becoming official members of the Goblin nations. And by extension Angeline, Butler, and Juliet.

Back to the story.

* * *

Sirius watched the screen outside while Butler took the one with Holly. Idly Sirius wondered how the elf would react if she knew that she was dealing with two criminal magic using masterminds with a combined IQ of five hundred. Who were officially members of the goblin clans and friends of house elves.

Sirius had privately took one look at the equipment his brother had taken from the elf woman and asked if he could have half to tinker with. Artemis let him had most of it, since his brother was better at hands on things than he was. He once accidentally made an atomic bomb...without the radioactive materials inside.

Fortunately Butler recognized what it was after he finished with it and discreetly disposed of it...using it as blackmail material for a rather irritating crime lord who happened to be watched by at least five governments in six countries. It had taken less than a week for the man to be caught with the almost complete bomb, sentenced and put in a small jail for the rest of his natural life.

Needless to say Butler kept his charge far away from the explosive materials after that unless they had plans for it. Sirius was their unofficial explosives expert.

Luck happened to be with him, since he happened to be in the room when the first RECON fairy arrived in an attempt to save the fairy in their new cell. Sirius added his two bits when he said "Next time do your homework before you think to cross Artemis Fowl the Second and his older brother Sirius."

That explosion on the old whaler had been particularly loud, noisy and more importantly to Sirius, _big._ He had no patience for men who hunted animals like whales when there were better substitutes.

Meanwhile he got up and made dinner. A cheese pizza for him and the others, and a fruit salad from his own garden for the fairy.

He really enjoyed dropping the bombshell that it was his garden that they got the plants from. Clearly the elf never expected someone who preferred brute force to have such a delicate touch for plants.

* * *

Holly tasted the fruit salad the enforcer brought her. It was with a large deal of shock when she took a bite and found the taste to her liking. Unlike most mud men raised produce, this one was grown with no foreign matter like you would get from a factory made fertilizer. It was from local animals raised on an all natural grown diet. Even the plants were acceptable for the region.

There was no hint of magic on them either, and it had a rather woody aftertaste. The plants even had a rather happy feel to them, which was more than unusual. To have that you would have to spend a lot of hours tending each plant, showing more love than normal to each leaf.

She never would have pegged the brute for being an avid gardener.

* * *

Commander Root had the team about to land in the Fowl estate. He noticed something odd, there seemed to be a garden that was recently dug up. Very recently as the soil was still very moist and cold.

He shook off the oddity and had Foaly start the time stop within the hour. He then sent his first wave of RECON elves.

They came back unconscious courtesy of Sirius. They had taken one look at the tail on his backside when he did a spinning kick and their alarms went off. Clearly they were dealing with a werewolf hybrid. Highly unusual, since the magical community of the Mud Men usually hunted those down with a prejudice once they were outed. Particularly in this community.

What happened next really bothered them.

Root was sent in to negotiate with the culprit. He was greeted by the hybrid, who he learned was named Sirius...the same Sirius who was responsible for the bomb that destroyed the whaler he was on.

Root would die rather than admit this, but he actually thought that explosion was perfect. Especially for the message it had sent. It had been loud, fast and more importantly attention getting. The whole thing had gone up so quickly that most of the lead content had been completely vaporized which made the pollution factor minimal.

He even received a small salad. He never noticed the smirk that the hybrid had on his face when he slipped some of the plants off for analysis by Foaly. Artemis did his bit, laying down the terms and so on. Sirius walked him out the door, his expression hidden by years of practice.

So imagine his shock when Foaly told him that not only were the plants locally grown, they were produced in a completely natural setting that was complemented by the region.

Sirius kept his new camera trained on the area which he knew held the tunnel to the outside. If the fairies were going to make a break for it, he would warn his brother so they would have enough time to get everyone out of the time stop in case of a blue rinse. Once he mentioned that to his brother, Artemis told him to do it.

Which is the only reason he saw the dwarf come in. Root had told him about dwarves...and he remembered that the basement with the wines (opposite of the one with the Devil's Snare in residence) had wooden floors and wasn't built on limestone.

"Oh crap."

Sirius hurried to the spot, knowing that they had most likely brought the dwarf to break in. His first objective was to protect the main copy of the Book. He got most of the pages, except the title one. With the copy hidden in a more secure location, he now had to deal with the dwarf.

And there he was. Sirius had picked his spot perfectly, because neither the dwarf or the people who were definitely observing him knew he was coming. He heard the tumblers click, and the dwarf was in. Sirius hid a grin as the fairy entered the room. By the time Sirius was on him, it was too late.

The dwarf put up a surprisingly good fight, but unfortunately for him, Sirius already knew his weakness. Dwarves hated fire.

_Incendio!_

The dwarf yelped in horror, and backed away so quickly Sirius would have missed it if he blinked.

He smirked, and conjured his preferred weapon. A beater's bat, already stained with blood from previous assignments.

"I wonder how a dwarf's knees will break? Root never mentioned whether or not I should put all my strength into it for a fairy. And I can already tell you don't have any magic, because they wouldn't have sent for you otherwise."

The dwarf seemed shocked about something. Probably the name.

"Root has a serious grudge against you lot. I believe he's angry that you left him to rot on the surface with the magical community?"

Sirius could just vaguely catch a long stream of fairy swear words from a hidden mike. He smirked even wider.

* * *

This was when Foaly finally noticed something they missed before. A certain scar on the hybrid's forehead...in the shape of lightning. His jaw dropped. There was no way it was possible. According to intelligence Potter was at his aunt's house in Surrey. Not Ireland!

"Commander, we have a problem."

"Besides the fact that one of my people is held hostage, our thief has been compromised, and there is a werewolf hybrid in the damn house?" said Root annoyed.

"That is no hybrid. I think that's creature inheritance, from a recent branch. And that's not the problem."

"Then what is our new problem?" grounded Root, taking his frustration out on his noxious cigar.

"Our supposed hybrid is Harry Potter, the so called savior of the magical community in England."

"D'arvit! Are you sure?"

If Harry Potter was in the house, things were now infinitely more complicated. Blue rinsing the house could lead to disastrous consequences with the magical community, who were the only Mud Men that they even got along with.

"There is only one person I know of with a lightning shaped scar on their forehead and a talent for magic. Though I would like to know what he's doing here. Our intelligence said he was in Surrey at his aunt's house."

"D'arvit! Find out if that really is him. If it is, this whole thing is going to go downhill very quickly."

* * *

Mulch was having a very bad day. First he ended up in a cell with a few goblins and almost became crispy fried dwarf. Things went up, since Julius Root had brought him out to get into an obviously rich estate. Even the recently dug up garden aided in his tunneling. He got in without a problem.

That was when things really went downhill. Even when he got into the actual house, he never noticed the presence. And from what he could tell it was a bloody werewolf hybrid. To make it even more unpleasant, the kid had magic and training!

That was when he laid down the bombshell. Someone named Root had told the kid about fairies. And there was only one Root he knew.

Which is when Foaly really dropped a rather large amount of bad news on him. This kid was most likely Harry bloody Potter. Who was supposed to be in England, not Ireland. And most definitely _NOT_ in this particular house!

Root had him ask the kid a question which would change everything.

"Are you Harry Potter?"

The kid faltered.

"I haven't heard someone call me that since I was three. And no one has called me that since. I'm Sirius Fowl, older twin brother to Artemis, and that's all I'll go by," he growled.

Mulch stared.

"Aren't you supposed to be at your aunt's house in Surrey?"

Sirius cackled, a rather unpleasant sound.

"Hell no. And you got the wrong aunt. Angeline Fowl is Lily Potter's older sister, not Petunia bloody Dursley. Why does everyone assume Lily and Petunia are related? They look nothing alike!"

Mulch was having other problems. Namely indigestion from the clay. Sirius had clearly been warned about that, since he booked.

Mulch made his way to the stairs.

This is the moment he found the one piece that Sirius missed, the first page of the book. On this page was a series of numbers. Page numbers to be exact. It didn't take a rocket scientist to know that there were more, probably the rest of the Book.

Mulch let his gas out on a rather upset Butler, who found out through Sirius mentioning in passing there was a dwarf on the premises. Had Butler thought to question why Sirius was running _away_ from said dwarf, he most likely wouldn't have been hit with dwarf gas.

Meanwhile Sirius had run into an escaped Holly.

"You didn't hurt Juliet, did you?"

"No. Unlike you lot, we aren't that barbaric."

"The dwarf who just let loose a volley of gas on Butler makes me inclined to disagree."

"Dwarf?"

"Short, and apparently without magic."

"Mulch Diggums."

"If he survives this mess he might find himself employed. We could use someone like him. And just to let you know, the whole kidnapping scenario was Artemis' idea. I don't need Fae gold when I still have than inheritance money left from my parents."

"So what are you going to do now?"

"Art told me you weren't allowed to leave without permission, and I can't wait for this whole farce to end. So I'll take you to him, provided I'm allowed to give him the first hit upside the head."

"Why?"

"I had a feeling this whole thing would snowball. But we don't try to convince each other out of money making schemes unless it's clear to the other that it is a phenomenally bad idea from the start. I just stayed on to make sure he makes it out of this alive. Besides, he's acting like an idiot. Not noticing the loop for over a minute is just bad."

"And robbing the People wasn't one of them?" asked Holly, giving him a sidelong glance.

"Meh, it wasn't like we aren't already robbing the English Ministry blind. And wizards are complete idiots when it comes to electricity. So we make more money overcharging them for fixing their new toys than anything."

She stopped and looked at him.

"You're a wizard."

"So is my brother. I'm good with high powered spells and he's better at the ones which require the minor details. We even each other out."

Holly wondered how the hell Foaly missed that little tidbit when he had the team sent up.

"So where do you two go to school? Let me guess, Hogwarts? Durmstrang?"

"Home schooled. Hogwarts wasn't worth our time, especially with the inept defense teachers they keep hiring. How did you like the salad?"

"Better than some fairy grown, and that's a very rare thing."

"I prefer natural grown. Hence why my garden is currently in one of my parent's old vacation houses with Root. He's the only elf I trust to take care of them."

_Commander Root isn't the type who knows how to garden..._

"So who is Root?"

"The elf who brought me to my biological aunt's place under my mother's orders. He's helped me get away with more crap than even Butler is aware of."

"What kind of elf?"

"I would rather not say. He just goes by Root."

A knot inside her chest eased. Her commanding officer hadn't set her up then. It was most likely a disgruntled house elf who told his master about their world. They were under a very heavy compulsion charm after all.

Sirius gave his brother a good hit upside the head, and went back downstairs. He had a bad feeling he said.

Holly never knew the boy had gone straight to his room and gotten an old flute.

* * *

When the explosion in the entryway came, he was half down the stairs. Butler was already there with his sister, spouting gibberish. From what he could tell, Holly had hit the girl with her _mesmer_ making her think there was a TV in the cell playing Wrestlemania.

He deplored wrestling. So barbaric.

The troll entered the room. Butler was standing there, and from what Sirius could see, he was actually scared.

_Not good._

Artemis tried to get him to take cover, but it would be impossible with Juliet the way she was.

He had to do something.

_Think, Sirius...what did Root say about trolls? Particularly the Fae breed? No magic to speak of, often came above ground through tunnels, carnivorous, has only night vision..._

It clicked. Night vision meant it couldn't handle bright lights. He heard the distinct sound of thumping outside, which meant the loud noise had spooked it. He looked to the flute in his hand.

Without realizing why, he began to play a slow, soothing tune. His natural fairy magic began to flow into the wood, bringing out a haunting melody meant to sooth even a savage creature. His eyes slowly opened, glowing a frightening green in the dark room. The silver highlights in his hair shimmered in the low lighting. He became aware of Butler carefully bringing his sister upstairs, and Holly entering the room.

She was entranced by the sound, as was the troll. Bringing out his wand slowly, he pointed it at the cast a wordless spell...

_Lumos Maxima!_

Bright light filled the room, and the troll screamed in pain before falling down. The music slowly stopped.

Holly looked at him amazement.

"What did you do?"

"Lumos Maxima. Root mentioned the thing had night vision, so I made a guess that it couldn't handle bright lights."

Butler lay his sister down, and took the troll outside. He booted it out the door.

Artemis was a bit miffed. Still, he was irritated beyond belief that they had brought a troll of all things to secure an unofficial invitation into the house. He was just lucky no one was actually hurt when it came in. He decided to thank his older brother for that, because somehow his music did the impossible by keeping the thing from going after anyone.

He had also noticed the fact that Sirius' eyes glowed a violent green. If it weren't for the fact that he trusted his brother with his life he would have been worried. But Sirius always took his loyalty above all else, even his own life.

It was something Butler had tried in vain for a full three months to train out of him. So they let it go.

Holly tried to convince them to drop the whole thing. She didn't succeed. Artemis was sure of his plan. And the others took their cues from the younger boy from what she could tell. Even Sirius, who was more intelligent then his appearance suggested.

Much to their shock, the Council actually paid. Sirius went with Artemis who asked for a single wish in exchange for half the gold.

And it was something he actually half expected from his brother. Their mother's mental health. Something they had tried and failed for months to fix, even with wizard magic.

Holly went upstairs and healed Mrs. Fowl, then went outside with half the gold. She was taken straight to her comrades in less than a second.

* * *

Artemis gave each of them a glass of champagne, and they were out in seconds. The bomb went off without a hitch, and they went in to retrieve the rest of the gold.

A wave of vomiting hit every fairy except Holly Short. Even Root got it. She looked around in disbelief. Fowl had pulled it off. They left before noon got any higher.

Butler awoke first, followed by Sirius and Artemis.

"Anesthetics? Really? What did you use?"

"Mother's pills."

Artemis filled Butler in on the full plan, at his insistence. And agreed no more kidnapping fairies. Too human for his taste. Which is when Angeline Fowl came in, in full control of her mental faculties except for one noticeable thing. She believed it was Christmas. At least she accepted the misfired spell as an excuse for the foyer.

And so ended their first venture into the world of fairies. One of many over the years. But that's for the next chapter.


	2. Chapter 2

Sirius was honestly nervous. For the first time in years he and Artemis had to go to a normal school so to speak. Angeline had been firm about that part. Tiny problem with that. Artemis and Sirius were wizards.

So they had two options, neither of which made Butler very happy.

One, they went to the nearby private school, which included a psyche evaluation by professionals. (Which was actually a game the two played to annoy said professionals. They have sent over a hundred psychiatrists back gibbering to their own psyche wards. Sirius found this fact hilarious.)

Or two, Hogwarts. No psychiatrists there, but they would have to contend with nosy house elves, ghosts who pick up more than they should, and portraits which kept nothing from the headmaster.

Just thinking about that network of informants made Sirius and Butler twitch. Still, at least Butler knew that Sirius could keep an eye on Artemis from inside. He would protect him whenever he went to the local village.

The fact that Sirius had a thing about getting Artemis to interact with kids his age, was just amusing in his opinion.

Fortunately they were allowed to bring Butler on the grounds. Or as close as they could get. Sirius paid for a small house in the middle of the village that had perfect vantage points. It also happened to be next door to the hotspots for most of the students, namely between Honeydukes and across from Zonko's. Three doors down was Madam Rosemerta's pub. Butler couldn't ask for a better spot. Sirius also provided him with enough of the gold coins that Butler could live there for a year and still have enough money to prank the headmaster or someone who annoyed them too much.

Personally he learned that poisoning someone is just as fun as kneecapping them.

* * *

So here Sirius and Artemis were, getting the books yet again. Fortunately for the guys behind the counter, Sirius happened to know how to handle the Monster Book of Monsters. He and Artemis had signed up for almost the exact same classes. Arithimancy, Care of Magical Creatures (they figured they could use some more help next time they dealt with fairies), Ancient Runes for Sirius and Divination for Artemis. Sirius wondered if he should take the special course for Healing next to Madam Pomphrey. Then he remembered the incident with their mother and decided to take a chance.

This is where he met Draco Malfoy, a pure-blood supremacist with a problem for half bloods. He took one look at the garb of Artemis and immediately got on the boy's nerves. Unfortunately for him, Butler happened to be in the area with Sirius, looking up some very unfriendly spells for the boys to practice.

"So you're the half blood brats who were home schooled in Ireland."

Sirius looked at him askance.

"And you are?"

"Malfoy. Draco Malfoy. Official leader of the Slytherin house."

Sirius snickered.

"Official leader? Hey Artemis, you wanna try and take over the house from within?"

"I don't know. Are you going to bust people's kneecaps with a beater's bat again? You were particularly artful with that gorilla from Dublin."

"Yeah, my aim is shoddy with a wand. Beater's bats are untraceable, especially when you just conjured them."

Draco's eyes widened with each word. They weren't serious were they? Then he took a long look at the black haired one with green eyes. He looked very serious about the kneecapping.

"Sirius and Artemis Fowl. Sons of the infamous Artemis Fowl the first, who went down in Russia over two years ago."

"Fowl...as in the kid who robbed the Faerie folk last year?"

Sirius was impressed.

"How on earth did you hear about that. I would have thought the Fae would keep such a thing to themselves. Particularly since it was a twelve year old who took out a full grown bull troll with tusks like a boar with only a flute and a lumos maxima spell."

Draco stared at them. From what he could tell the kid wasn't joking.

"Our house elves talk. Besides, the Ministry got hell last year when the People let them know that they were lied to about the whereabouts of Harry Potter. Something about running into him during an unpleasant encounter."

"Oh that. I'm surprised they saw that scar from a tiny iris cam."

An older man approached them. He looked like an older version of Draco.

"Well Draco, aren't you going to introduce us to your new...friends?"

"These are the transfer students from Ireland."

"Artemis Fowl the second. This is my older brother Sirius...he also doubles as an enforcer when you can't trust your own people to keep their mouths shut."

"Yo," Sirius gave him a two fingered salute.

"I take you and your...father...are in the darker side of life?"

"Not our father. This is Butler...and our bodyguard."

"Butler here is armed to the teeth and knows more moves that can be used to kill people in less than ten seconds then most people learn in a lifetime," said Sirius.

The man was impressed.

"Are you two the ones who robbed the People last year?"

"Artemis did the actual kidnapping. I just dealt with the adult bull troll and the rather unpleasant dwarf named Mulch."

Sirius saw the man instruct his son to become friends with the Irish transfers. He snorted. Unless Draco had something they needed it was unlikely they would even become acquaintances.

The red heads outside were becoming conspicuous. At a glance, he could tell the two younger ones were trouble, the twins possible allies and the older one a regular pain if they needed to deal with him.

Unfortunately for Sirius, he was unable to kill any students in a private boarding school in the middle of nowhere. They would most likely suspect the new kids before anyone.

They bought their books, a new bag to carry their things, and one final stop before they went back to the Cauldron.

Sirius wanted an owl. He wanted something which could send letters and keep him company. Artemis was interested in magical pets, and Butler wound up looking for something dangerous, large and enough to keep faeries away in case of another siege.

Sirius bought a snow white owl he named Adhara. Artemis found an interesting dog which almost looked like a wolf. It was pitch black with silver paws. He named it Midnight.

Butler got a catalog for large and dangerous animals, and found one he really liked. It was a three headed hound called a Cerberus. He was a bit annoyed that he would have to register the thing with the Irish Ministry in order to get it, but Sirius had a better idea.

So the next stop was Knockturn alley. Sirius conjured his favorite bat, and the look in his eyes was enough for most would be assailants to avoid them. For the rest, Butler's size did the trick. They walked out of the alley with a new puppy the size of a full grown St. Bernard with three heads. At Sirius' insistence, they named it Padfoot. Sirius met up with the goblin clans the next day to have wards added to the estate, all expenses paid from the Potter account.

As far as the Ministry was concerned, the Fowl Manor was a large vacation house for the Potter family which was being renovated.

* * *

They boarded the train easily enough, after making sure Butler was sent on ahead with the Knight Bus.

(He vowed later to the boys that he would rather take one of the evil port keys that wizards favored to that bus. He nearly had a heart attack from riding it.)

Sirius was wearing his usual ball cap for jobs that would likely get police attention. It was dark blue with a black wolf or dog on the front. On the rim was the star constellation he shared the name with.

Artemis was dressed in an appropriate fashion for most occasions. Both boys refused to wear the robes, which while giving plenty of opportunity to hide things, were more constricting in their movements. It was worth more to have mobility than anonymity.

The first people who tried to sit with them were a pair of irritating students from a red and gold house. According to Seamus these people were Gryffindors. He had included a general description of people in their year.

From his description, these two were Ron Weasly and Hermione Granger. A bookworm who should have been placed in Ravenclaw and a chess freak who could beat anyone in his own house. Behind them was a nervous boy who fit the profile for the resident Herbology prodigy Neville Longbottom. Hailed as the boy-who-lived because the real one had yet to show up, he had a tendency to blow up his cauldron in Potions.

"Not interested in company unless you're in the mood to talk about plants," said Sirius abruptly.

Annoyed the girl and redhead left the door. But Neville stayed.

"I'm N-N-Neville Longbottom."

"Sirius Fowl. This is my younger twin brother Artemis. Don't let his perpetual scowl fool you, he's nice to people who know him."

Sirius and Neville then got into a serious debate on compost and soil types. They completely ignored the man sleeping in the corner while Artemis watched it all with amusement. He never would have believed that his brother would have found someone he could relate to so easily. He idly wondered if he would have such luck.

Draco was on a mission. Find and befriend the Fowl brothers. Further investigation into them had his father impressed. At age thirteen they were already criminal masterminds...or at least the younger one was. He suspected Sirius was just as smart, if not more so than his brother, because as any Slytherin would tell you in a heartbeat appearances are deceiving. That little show in the book store seemed a bit rehearsed, though it was very well done. Sirius came off as a thug, more in the line of Crabbe and Goyle then Draco, albeit a bit more educated.

He found them with the unlikeliest person he would have suspected. Neville Longbottom. A pure-blood menace when he entered the Potions lab. He made it a point to avoid the boy ever since he blew up a simple boils cure first year.

Sirius and Neville seemed to be having a very detailed conversation about plants apparently. Artemis seemed amused that a nervous boy managed to get his brother to show his actual intelligence. Draco opened the door. For some reason Neville seemed relaxed when he was in the new transfers presence.

"Mind if I join you? Parkinson is a menace."

"Who?"

"Pansy Parkinson. Third year in my house. She's seems to have deluded herself that she'll be my wife once I come of age."

Draco had made a face when he said this.

"Go ahead."

Draco sat next to Artemis, took a look at the book he was reading and struck up his own conversation with the rather amused boy. Somehow he just knew at the very least Artemis would be a Slytherin. Sirius might be a Hufflepuff or a Ravenclaw. But there was no way in hell he was a damn Gryffindor.

The twins showed up, amused. Apparently Sirius had annoyed their younger brother by making him sit with them.

"I'm Fred and this is George."

"No, I'm Fred and you're George," said the other.

Draco rolled his eyes. They always liked to confuse people. They were the only students that had made it onto Snape's to-be-poisoned-at-first-chance-I-can-get-away-with-it list. Dumbledore was on there too, only he was at the top.

"So let me get this straight. Your names are Gred and Forge?"

They grinned and held up a 'V' sign. Artemis actually groaned in dismay. Much to his annoyance his brother had a penchant for pranks. Usually used on Juliet, but mostly on Artemis himself. Butler actually found some of his pranks quite amusing, which is why he never did anything to stop it once he realized it was Sirius' handiwork.

He could easily have stopped some of his brother's more amusing pranks had he felt like it. But he rarely did since he knew full well that Sirius tested each one before using it on Artemis. Nothing he did would actually hurt the boy, just annoy him to no end. Some days that was all he lived for.

"I bet I can out-prank you both."

They smirked and said "Who'll be your target?"

"The headmaster. You?"

The twins were grinning widely now.

"Snape."

"I wouldn't recommend it. He's sworn to poison you both if you hit him any time during the next month. I think he's serious about it this time."

Clearly Sirius saw this as an opportunity, since he quipped, "He's not Sirius, I am!"

A snort of amusement was heard from the man who was previously sleeping.

"You are, and that was a terrible pun," said Artemis flatly.

"Says the runt who shares the same name as the Greek goddess of the moon and hunt," said Sirius with a poke.

The other boys stared at him.

"And the same name as a cat on a magical girl cartoon called Sailor Moon."

"And ever since you pointed it out I have hated that show with a passion," growled Artemis. Sirius stuck his tongue out at him, smirking.

Fred and George grinned and said "You're on!"

The trolley witch showed up, and Sirius bought out the entire cart. He took one look at the red pops and smirked.

"Here Art, try these. They're pretty good. Cherry flavor I think."

"You know I don't like lollipops."

"And your point is? Just try it."

He reluctantly took it, and once he put it in his mouth he spat it out in disgust. Draco and Neville laughed. The 'cherry' flavored pop was actually a joke treat called Blood Pops. Then Artemis had an interesting look on his face. He was thinking.

"Butler?"

Artemis nodded. (Much to Butler's shock, Artemis does have a sense of humor that he picked up from his brother. It just didn't show up much, and was usually very morbid.)

* * *

Soon they were chatting again, trying out new sweets (Sirius and a reluctant Artemis) or simply catching up on their boring summers. Too bad Artemis had decided that they weren't allowed to mention actually kidnapping a fairy and stealing their gold. That story would have been more fun to listen to then Draco's tale of how he spiked his father's drink to turn his hair neon pink. (Something his mother managed to save him from payback.)

Then the train abruptly stopped, and the twins froze. Was this a regular occurrence? Judging by Draco's yelp, no.

"What the hell is going on?"

"Quiet. The dementors are searching the train for Sirius Black," said the man.

Sirius stared at him. He remembered that voice. But the thing that struck him first was that he had said his first name.

"You have got to be joking. Some other idiot named their kid Sirius?"

"This coming from someone who named their owl Adhara?" said Artemis dryly.

Suddenly the door opened, and Sirius could just see a girl with flaming red hair and another with pale blond.

"Oof!"

"You alright Ginny?" asked Neville.

"Who?" asked Sirius.

"Ginny Weasly, youngest Weasly in residence and the only girl of the brood," said Draco.

Sirius looked at Draco, "Damn, how many kids did this woman have?"

"Seven, five are still in the school."

The door opened again this time, only there was something wrong. The window was fogging up and Sirius could see a rotted hand pulling the door open.

He didn't think twice. He had read about a charm which projected a shield against foul creatures that sucked them from the caster. It looked like he had run into one of those freaks.

"Expecto Patronum!"

A silver stag erupted from his wand. Artemis and Butler had once commented on his odd spell, and he said he always viewed the stag as a messenger of good will and luck.

He never mentioned that he remembered his birth father becoming that once in front of him. It was one of the few memories he had of him.

"Prongs, attack!"

The stag burst into motion, hitting the dementor square on the chest, knocking it out of the compartment. The new professor looked at him in shock. Either from name or spell.

"Where...did you learn that spell?"

"I read it out of a NEWT charms book. Once I figured out that it was the creature they described I didn't think."

"That dementor was looking for Sirius Black. He just escaped Azkaban."

"What was his crime?" asked Artemis. He could see the wheels spinning rapidly behind his brother's eyes. Something was up.

"Kidnapping and killing the boy-who-lived. Or so they claim. But I knew the man, and there is no way he would have hurt Harry."

"Or for the love of...did it ever occur to the Wizarding world that the boy-who-lived came back under a new name of his adoptive family? That he just wanted some peace?"

The pale blond looked at him with dreamy eyes and said "You're Harry Potter."

"Not since my parents died, no. I'm Sirius Fowl, menace of the garden and a wicked aim when I use my bat. You are?"

"Luna Lovegood."

"Ah, Luna. Would you mind getting off my younger brother? He doesn't like physical contact too much."

Luna had tripped and fell on Artemis before the dementor opened the door. Sirius was a tad amused to see interest in his brother's eyes. Was it possible that his brother had developed an interest in females? He was the right age for it...

* * *

The train sped back up, and Ginny left. Sirius invited Luna to stick around, since she was still feeling the effects of the dementor, even with the chocolate that Lupin (new teacher) gave her. Luna turned out to be an unexpected source of information. You just had to get past the initial gambit of creatures that very few people could actually see, and of those almost all of them were muggle.

Sirius knew he had struck a gold mine when he met Luna. She would be perfect for their hostile takeover of the wizarding world from within. And since he had clearly earned her favor right off by actually talking to her like she had a brain, he knew that she would be a valuable asset.

The train stopped, and they were greeted by a large man with wild hair. This was Hagrid, from the description.

"Firs' years and Transfers, over hear! Firs' years and transfers!"

Sirius and Artemis, unlike their new acquaintances, never bothered with the robes. Much to Sirius' surprise, Neville turned out to be fun to talk to. They both had a passion for gardening, and Sirius had a thing about bullied children. He hated bullies who picked on younger children. And that's what he saw in Neville.

Which pretty much meant that if he saw the boy being bullied he would go out of his way to do something about it. Artemis didn't know about this little habit, but he would learn about it pretty quick. (Sirius had no problem with bullies going after someone older than they were. If they were older, then they should have stuck up for themselves a long time ago.)

* * *

Sirius was mildly impressed with the castle, though he compared it to their home in the Fowl manor and his impressed state dropped big time. He knew that there were only a handful of classes available, and over half the rooms were old and unused.

Which lead to two conclusions for the brothers.

One, Hogwarts couldn't keep up with payments for certain professors (highly unlikely, since it was well known that they had a ghost teaching history, so why pay him? And what about the alumni and fund left by the founders, which was still active? So it wasn't that.)

Or two, which was their secret suspicion. Someone was trying to weaken the society by turning out weaker and weaker wizards who were half trained and more likely to die without adequate schooling. This would partly explain why the Pure bloods have been dropping like rocks in concern to power levels, and why the rate of squib births had jumped since Dumbledore took over.

The other was attributed to inbreeding.

Sirius had an explanation as to why his brother was a wizard along with him. It was quite simple really. Angeline and Lily were both from the same mother, who was actually a magical creature descendant. Lily just inherited more magic through her father, the heir to the throne of England. Since that extra push gave her enough magic to qualify for the school, she developed it more. Angeline's spark remained dormant and finally passed on to Artemis.

This spark would have remained dormant as well, except Sirius had arrived into their household when he was still a baby, and constant, continual exposure to his larger than normal spark of magic which tended to leak until it stabilized at age eleven had caused Artemis to develop enough of the power to be noticed by the Ministry sensors. From there the two had practiced enough for Artemis to keep from being classed a squib, as his magic was about three quarters the amount of his twin.

Being exposed to the fairy magic last year didn't hurt either, since it gave Sirius a power boost and almost doubled the amount of magic Artemis already had.

(Sirius had found an old spell which gave them a precise number of their magic. He had cast this spell at least once a month to judge their progress, and was startled to find that the fairy magic both had been exposed to had given them a boost.)

He never actually told Artemis his theory. It was just a thought. Besides, he knew his brother. If Artemis had heard it, he would have most likely gone out to find a way to boost his power to match his brother. Which is a headache he and Butler did not need at the moment, what with Artemis Fowl Sr. still missing in action.

(Sirius knew full well the man was still alive. He had found a spell right before their father headed to Russia on the _Fowl Star_ and used it to track him. Unfortunately he didn't have the other spell that went with it which would have told them where he was...so they could stage a rescue. All they knew was that he was alive. Unharmed, no, but alive.)

* * *

They entered the hall, and awaited the sorting.

Seamus had pretty much told them exactly what was about to happen, so they enjoyed themselves by watching the other children squirm.

The ghosts gave everyone else a scare, but Sirius laid down the law with them. They stayed out of their business, and the next time he did a spirit walk he wouldn't send them kicking and screaming into the other side of the mortal veil.

He loved the fact that he could spy on Butler without the man knowing how. It made him even more paranoid than he already was. Something the brothers found highly amusing, since said man was extremely paranoid. It was through his spirit walk that he found a rather interesting tidbit they weren't aware of, which was unusual.

Butler was in contact with the old geezer with the spinning eyes and tons of scars, Alastor Moody. They had hit it off on what would have been his third attempt at regaining Harry Potter/Sirius Fowl. Butler had stopped him before he entered the house, and once they realized they had a lot in common (several acquaintances in the same military/school for example) they decided to keep in contact instead.

Which meant if they ever needed magical back up that did NOT involve fairies or half trained idiots (classmates) they could ask Butler to contact the man, who was bored out of his mind thanks to forced retirement. Moody hated having nothing to do, it made him twitch.

Hence why he is current the most paranoid wizard to date. His paranoia is fed by complete and utter boredom. And why he has more alarms spells around his house then even Hogwarts could manage.

They walked up to the stool and Sirius spotted Seamus. He grinned, and waved to his fellow Irishman. Apparently Seamus figured out who he was, since he smirked and gave a similar wave back. It was thanks to this source that Artemis and Sirius had a very good idea of where the classes were, and which ones were so useless they would be better off reading from the textbook instead.

* * *

The first years were sorted before them, and Dumbledore stood up to introduce them.

"This year we have two transfers who come from being home schooled. Please make them feel welcome."

_That's right you old bastard, single out the only students who have refused your precious invitation no matter how many times you give it. Hell the only reason we're going to this farce is because Mum threatened us with psychiatrists and we didn't feel like dealing with them._

"Fowl, Artemis!"

Not to their surprise, the hat took one look into his mind and yelled Slytherin in less than two seconds on his head.

What surprised them was that it took the hat a full ten minutes for it to put Sirius into Slytherin as well. Why? He was having a debate against Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff. According to the hat, he would have fit in three of the four houses, and would never fit into Gryffindor. His brilliant mind would have made him an ideal Raven, while his utter loyalty to his brother and anyone who becomes more than an ally made him the sneakiest Puff around.

But it wasn't until he found memories of the last time Sirius went on a job for the Fowl family that involved not only crippling but giving the man a concussion that he was practically thrown into Slytherin. Sirius hid family secrets very well.

Draco couldn't believe this. Both Fowls in Slytherin?

Neville and Seamus were in disbelief. Neville had mentioned meeting Sirius on the train to the Irish wizard, and Seamus had told him he was already acquainted with the boy through conversations they had during the holidays. As a fellow half-blood he got along fine with him.

So they traded experiences about Sirius, and both agreed to remain friends with him, despite being in opposite houses.

Once the introductions were out of the way, and the food had appeared, Sirius and Artemis set out to accomplish their private goal of putting Hogwarts under their complete control.

Both boys avoided the kidney pie and headed straight for the chicken. Sirius recognized the taste of house elf cooked food, it had their flair of magic around it. Which meant he could find and bribe said elves into poisoning people in exchange for a way back to their Fairy brethren.

One by one the elves would leave, and the headmaster would have to actually get new ones, which would result in the severe depletion of their precious house elf laws.

Root's inquiry to other house elves in Dark and Light families revealed that there was no actual magic binding them to their orders, it was just that wizards had in recent years used physical/magic retribution if orders weren't followed. They had taken the binding spell for granted, which meant that the whole thing could collapse if the elves knew how to break it.

Which was his plan. Sirius had already freed half the Potter elves, while the others stayed on because they didn't know how to survive outside the binding. Didn't mean they weren't technically free of it already, they just opted to stay with Sirius for the rest of their lives.

The goblins helped the newly freed elves back into the Lower Elements, where the others were. In exchange, they sent up a large amount of gold equal to their weight once they made it. It was the greatest trick played on the rather arrogant Ministry wizards.

Besides, it would annoy both Dumbledore and Voldemort to no end, which made it entirely worth it.

* * *

Draco showed them to their new house, and told them the basic rules that were pretty much unofficial once the prefect had laid down the basics for the firsties.

"Rule one: stealing from another Slytherin is allowed as long as you don't get caught. We classify it as 'borrowing' to keep the old goat happy. I recommend this for classes you miss. Second: you are fully allowed to haze other Slytherins, but you must keep this within house walls only. House loyalty is a must, since Gryffindors will be attempting to make your life miserable and we tend to do the same to them. Three: Snape doesn't tolerate whining of any form, more so in the morning. And finally, Filch is a tad more lenient to Slytherin house but he will still report anything you do if you're caught. So you damn better have an excuse ready if found...I recommend blaming Ron Weasly, since he is in general an idiot outside of chess."

Sirius sensed some back story on that one.

"What did he do to piss you off?"

"Came into my compartment looking for the boy-who-lived, made fun of both my hair color and name, and then proceeded to put me on the Terror Twins need-to-be-pranked list, which is very dangerous territory for a first year."

They looked incredulous.

"Those two have a reputation?"

"They currently hold the mantel of prank kings, not seen since the Marauders graduated, and I got that one from Snape. Which is unusual, since Snape apparently had a grudge against James Potter for some hazing which happened for several years."

_Oh crap. I just know he'll direct that pent up anger to me once he realizes who I am. Just my damn luck that I'm in HIS house..._

"Oh, and before I forget, if you get caught doing something, best make sure it's Snape and not McGonagall. The woman has a ten foot spiked pole up her ass, and most students call her the old Battle Axe behind her back. Snape favors the Slytherins, and is less likely to issue a warning if he catches you. But he will deduct points if you are unlucky and can't come up with a good enough excuse."

_Good to know. He'd probably help me hit the Headmaster with a poison if I ask right._

"Best pick your beds now. You two get to chose your own rooms here. Slytherins get individual rooms depending on power levels, so the more power you hold in the house, the better your room gets. First years have to share, but after that their dorm room separates."

"What about bathrooms?" asked Artemis.

"Slytherin was a man who liked privacy, so everyone gets their own bathroom. For soap and hair care orders, the founders even installed a post with a permanent owl on standby. Orders are taken around noon during lunch, and brought back by dinner. It's the only owl post that the headmaster can't interfere with, only the leader of the individual houses."

"So basically we have to share for a month and then our rooms will tailor themselves to fit our status within the house? And our personal items must be ordered at the only time of day we have free from classes?" clarified Artemis. He could grow to like this house.

"Exactly. Basic shampoo and conditioner is considered part of the tuition for the school for those who aren't from wealthy pure-blood families. Or half blood heirs. But the better quality ones you have to pay for yourself ahead of time. Half bloods and muggleborns get a discount."

_In that case, there's no way in hell I'm telling these people I'm really Harry Potter._

"Have any of the pure blood tried to use an assumed name to get the discount?"

"It wouldn't work. The owls deliver to the person who order it personally, so if you went under an assumed name it wouldn't go to you. Unless of course you actually believed that was your name, in which case you have a problem with multiple personality disorder."

"Or you had gone by that name your entire life," said Sirius.

He was registered as Sirius Fowl, so that was how he would stay.

Artemis chose the bed away from the window, unaware that was where the warming charm was located. He spent the next week with a massive head cold. Sirius had the window bed, and was perfectly fine...avoiding the hexes sent his way by his brother for making fun of him, not so much.

* * *

It took less than a week for them to solidify their personal alliances.

In the Gryffindor house Sirius had secured a friendship with Seamus Finnegan, Dean Thomas, Neville Longbottom, the Terror Twins (when his prank succeeded and Dumbledore walked around with a bad case of boils for three days) and Hermione Granger. Artemis had gained the loyalty of Percy Weasly and Lee Jordan when he gave him some rather interesting Irish words he could put in his broadcast at Quidditch matches.

In the Hufflepuff house the two gained the allegiance of Cedric Diggory and Susan Bones, both of which happened to have parents in the Ministry.

In Ravenclaw they gained allies in Mandy Brocklehurst (muggleborn with prominent scientists for parents), Luna Lovegood and Padma Patil (who was by far a better choice compared to her twin Parvati).

In Slytherin they made their best breakthrough, because after they secured their spot in their own house their room changed.

Draco Malfoy, Marcus Flint, both sets of Prefects, Blaise Zabini, Daphne Greengrass, Lythiel Moon, Sally-Anne Perks and surprisingly enough the Crabby Gargoyles who followed Draco.

To Draco's shock, Sirius and Artemis had better rooms than he did, and he was the Slytherin Prince!

Sirius's had a deep blue room, almost sapphire colored, with warm green and silver tones for the sheets. His window had a dark silver curtain, which blocked out the light nicely, and set the tone to be like night, which meant on their days off he could sleep in. (Sirius by nature hates to wake up in the morning. So Artemis asked Root to wake him up with an air horn inside his silenced canopy. Which is why the day his brother came up with that he put frogs in his bed.) The candles were an aromatic beeswax mixed with a lily and peppermint scent. His carpet had an embroidered snake around the edges, and a wolf howling at a full amber moon.

Artemis had a rather tasteful old Irish themed room, with deep earth tones. His bed had deep green and light brown sheets, and was very plush. His window threw the whole room into a teal color when the sun hit it right around dusk. The curtain had embroidered runes which he couldn't read, and from what he could tell were Gaelic in origin. Around the carpet were fairies of all breeds, and runes which he didn't recognize. The candle gave off a perfumed scent. And from what he could tell it was one of the more expensive brands.

(Sirius later informed Draco that was the scent their mother wore.)

Draco on the other hand...

His room was a brilliant silver and green ensemble, with expensive as hell Egyptian cotton sheets the color of the sky, Ravenclaw blue curtains which did nothing to block a third of the sunlight, so he woke up early every morning. His carpet had a dungeon scene which set his morbid mood each morning. His candles were plain wax, and gave off no scent. But compared to the other rooms he had seen, he had the best.

Not anymore. It was clear that the Fowl brothers had rooms built for comfort, style, and most important practicality. It was made for both function and taste. Which meant that the Fowl twins had already ousted him as the unequivocal ruler of Slytherin.

(The truth was that the elves usually did a half-ass job decorating the rooms since the students usually ignored or kicked at them when seen. Particularly Slytherins. So in revenge they gave the Snake's Nest poor room decorations. However Sirius and Artemis had already demonstrated that they cared about elves, and had freed almost twenty of them from Hogwarts, so they took extra special care decorating, taking tips from Root as to what to get. The fact that the 'leaders' of each house got better rooms was usually a fluke.)

Sirius had gained the interest of one Severus Snape and Minerva McGonagall in his first class. Why? He kept up his facade and still got good reviews.

Snape recognized the false personal, and had Sirius stay behind. His suspicion was confirmed when Sirius asked which poison to use on the headmaster. Once Snape found out that Sirius had an intelligence hidden by his hidden in plain sight sadism and violent side, he went about finding why he hid it. The answer surprised him.

Sirius was Artemis' secondary bodyguard. But he was also a master strategist, and he knew that by hiding his intelligence behind a enforcer facade, he gained an advantage over people. Something which could save his brother's life later on.

After which Snape assisted his new favorite snake by leaving Neville alone during Potions.

McGonagall liked him because he was nice to animals, and was the one student who even gave her a second glance when she was going to give them the lecture on Animagi. He paid particular attention to that class, and had gone straight to the library afterwords to search the transfiguration section.

Hence why she liked him.

Artemis on the other hand, had gained the respect of the Arithimancy teacher, the astrology teacher and the charms teacher. Contrary to his name, Sirius had absolutely no interest in astrology or astronomy. Artemis had to keep kicking him during the class in order to keep him awake long enough for the assignment.

Flitwick liked Artemis because he had a love of chess, shogi, and Go. He even beat Ron Weasly, the unofficial Chess master of the entire school. Many of his Ravens had challenged the boy to the game and had been thoroughly beaten. So he had gotten a pretty swelled head in concerns to the subject. Artemis brought him back to earth when he beat him five times in a row within five minutes.

The Astrology teacher simply liked Artemis because he made sure his brother stayed awake during class, and he was very alert during.

Septimus Vector, head of the Arithimancy class loved the boy because he did fifteen extremely difficult problems without once using a piece of parchment to work it out.

So now the only person who had yet to be swayed was Sprout, and that would quickly change when Sirius stood up to Marcus Flint for bullying a terrified Neville.

What happened was this.

Neville was walking down the corridor alone after ditching Ron Weasly, who seemed to think the pudgy boy didn't know that Dumbledore paid Ron to spy on him. He happened to accidentally bump into Marcus Flint, leader of the Slytherin Quidditch team and a snake who was in a foul mood after a run in with McGonagall earlier that day which resulted in fifty lost points.

Flint, seeing the smaller _Gryffindor_ boy who was known to being weak, sees an opportunity to be in a better mood and proceeds to bully said lion. Sprout who was down around the opposite corridor hears her favorites student's frightened whimpers and goes to help him if needed.

Only to find Sirius Fowl, half blood thug come up and ask what Flint is doing. When he finds out what Flint is up to, he takes out a beater's bat and hits the other snake on the head with it, resulting in him going down like a sack of bricks. He then proceeds to float Flint to the edge of the forbidden forest, strip him down to a pair of very old briefs with large holes, and ties him by the ankles in full view of anyone who happens to walk past that corridor and looks outside, which would be quite a few people since it was a well used hallway.

He then checks on Neville, and cheers the boy up. Once he makes sure the boy is alright and not hexed, jinxed or cursed in any way, he then offers to help him with potions.

Sprout gave Sirius thirty points for helping a rival house.

* * *

Sirius Black couldn't believe his bad luck. First the old goat who wanted to use _HIS _godson figured out that Sirius had a very good idea where the boy-who-lived disappeared to, then he frames him for kidnapping/possible murder.

At least he couldn't pin the betrayal of the Potters on him, since Remus had caught up to Peter and dragged his treacherous ass to the Wizangamot. Peter confessed under Veritaserum and was promptly thrown in Azkaban, which was more than he deserved. But once Fudge caught wind that Harry Potter had gone missing long before he reached his 'aunts' house, he went ballistic.

Hence why Sirius ended up in Azkaban under suspicion of murder.

But Peter escaped by pretending to be a rat, which meant Harry was in danger. He had no idea whether or not his godson was in Hogwarts, but he wasn't willing to take the chance.

Even so, the fact that they noticed that HE escaped before they realized Peter had been long gone for five years was insulting! And they had the Aurors after him simply because of his family! It wasn't fair dammit!

Now there was a _way _too perceptive muggle living nearby and he carried a gun! At least he knew the muggle wouldn't bother him unless he did something to his charges. Whoever they were. This 'Butler' fellow was going to point them out for him.

Now why the hell did the name Fowl sound familiar?

* * *

Their first Hogsmeade visit. Between the brothers, whoever came up with the names of the village/school should be burned, poisoned, kneecapped, drawn and quartered, then boiled in acid and vomited up by pigs.

_(This description is usually thought of by the two whenever someone does something so phenomenally stupid that they botch an important operation or scheme. And aside from one notable exception, this has never actually been followed through with. The one time they actually did this, the police shuddered to met the man who pulled it off. If they had known it was a nine year old boy named Sirius who had a really, really crappy morning, they would have questioned his sanity then and there.)_

Still, it was an interesting visit. Crabbe and Goyle loved Butler on sight. They spent their entire day learning from the man, who was highly amused and giving them valuable tips. (The next visit a girl named Millicent Bulstrode joined them, as she apparently was the bodyguard/intimidation factor of Pansy Parkinson.)

But the most interesting thing to happen was that Sirius met his namesake. Root had mentioned that the reason his name was Sirius instead of James like Lily originally planned was because his godfather had found out half way into the plan and Lily decided bringing him in on the plan was less of a hassle than making him forget or stay quiet.

So Sirius had asked everything that Root knew about his godfather, which was a lot.

Sirius Orion Black, born into the Black family which was known for producing Dark wizards, had defied the stigma of his blood by going into Gryffindor. He became part of a group called the Marauders which was formed when they were in second year, and his name was Padfoot. He is the current head of the Black family only because the charges were never proved, and had been stuck in Azkaban for the past eight years without once going into trial, despite repeated attempts by the Black family barrister for one.

The only way for Sirius Black to be proved innocent of all charges would be for him to reveal the whereabouts of his godson, something he would never do since it would put him in even more danger from the headmaster and any Death Eaters still around.

Something that Moody had agreed with, even though he was the one who brought Sirius in after Fudge issued the order for his arrest and Dumbledore had convinced Moody to take it.

It was after Moody had protested putting an innocent man in jail for wanting his kin to have a semi normal life that he was forced to retire.

Which why Dumbledore is now on Moody's shit list, and why Fudge is in big trouble with the Wizard court and Madam Bones.

Madam Bones had been helping the Black's barrister in trying to push for a trial, but Fudge kept coming up with excuses or pushing it off. If she could help Sirius Black prove he was innocent without having to force him to bring out his godson, then Fudge would be on a very slippery track out of his precious office.


	3. Chapter 3

Normally Sirius would have been worried about a dog which acted nothing like a dog. But Butler was introducing him, so it couldn't be all bad, right?

Then it turned into a familiar face which had been posted all over the village, and things snowballed from there.

Sirius Black was in Hogsmeade, and very surprised to find his godson a Slytherin.

"So you're the one my birth mum named me after. Never thought we'd actually met with you on the run from everyone."

"And I never would have believed my own godson would become a Slytherin. So I guess we're even on that front."

Sirius smirked. And Artemis looked between the two.

"You know him?"

"I heard about him from Root. Apparently this is my godfather, the one my birth mother named me after before she sent me to the Fowl manor. It was easier to bring him in on the plan then shutting him up."

"You better believe it. I would have raised hell with James if she hadn't told me everything."

"So what do you plan to do now?"

"Find that rat bastard Peter, drag his traitorous tail back to Azkaban and let the dementors have him."

Sirius gave a very disturbing smirk.

"Might I suggest a more unpleasant ending?"

Padfoot turned to his godson, and did not like the shiver that had went down his back when he heard that tone.

"Let's just say for your sake that Dementors will be the least of his problems should I get my hands on him. I take blood traitors even more seriously than a half-ass attempt on my life by some crackpot who happens to be good a forbidden curses."

Artemis looked at Padfoot.

"Sirius takes loyalty even more personal then most Hufflepuffs. Those who have earned his friendship or respect have often found themselves with a very loyal ally which would do almost anything for them. So the level of betrayal this Pettigrew has shown when he betrayed the Potters..."

"His death would be neither quick, pleasant or legal. You don't want to know what I can do to people who betray others to the extent Wormtail has."

For some reason he really hoped he was there to see his godson get revenge. Being stuck in Azkaban when practically everyone knew you were innocent was not fun. It did things to you.

But innocence had it's perks in that hell. It was both a shield and a curse. It was a shield because the fact that you were innocent of the charges gave to some very unpleasant but sanity inducing thoughts.

It was a curse because being innocent with no way to prove it but to give up a loved one to a hell he would never make someone else endure was hell of it's own kind.

At least now he knew exactly where his godson had disappeared too. And the fact that he clearly had a loving family ended some of his doubts that Dumbledore had hinted at.

To add to this relief, his godson clearly didn't mind sharing his name. He even named his own owl after the constellation that he was named after. Artemis was clearly devoted only to his family and close friends like Butler. Even if the Fowls were more like his own 'family' than the Potters, it was clear there was a major difference in their attitude.

For one thing, the Blacks were more likely to kill others for no other reason than someone not having any magic in their blood. They also didn't have much loyalty unless someone had been killed by a rival family, or someone on the wrong side of the Light/Dark dispute. Hell, he never actually mourned for his mother's death, he had been glad when she and his father had died.

The Fowls, from what he could tell, were almost as Dark as his own family with one key difference. Where the Blacks were all about purity of their blood, the Fowl men seemed to be about family and importance. They had been rich until the disaster with the _Fowl Star_ two years ago. Yet instead of selling each other out at the first opportunity, they stood by each other and supported each other no matter what.

So if he had to choose between a magic hating twit like Petunia or the family oriented Angeline from a rather neutral dark clan, he would choose to send Harry to Angeline every bloody time.

It was clear that Sirius loved his family. And there was no way in hell he would allow Dumbledore or the Ministry to take that away from him a second time. Even if the Fowls let him see his godson supervised. He could live with that. So could Remus if it came to that.

Artemis could see the wheels move behind the supposed convicts mind. It was clear that Sirius Black held loyalty above all else, family more so. Maybe that is where his brother got it.

He could tell that Sirius was willing to work with them so he could be in his godson's life. Even if it meant he wasn't allowed to be with him.

_Well there would be no need for him to go that far. I'm sure we could find a way to let him stay at the Fowl manor. It's not like we couldn't use a properly trained wizard in our arsenal, and he could help out Butler in case of a fight._

Now all Artemis had to do was prove that Harry Potter was not only alive and well, but he had no intention of following an old goat's plans to ruin his life and others.

* * *

That would actually be easy once he asked Draco how he would got out proving Harry bloody Potter was alive without revealing where he was.

"You protecting him?" asked Draco shrewdly.

Artemis knew the Slytherin creed very well. He had often followed it most of his life without realizing it. Everything he did was for a purpose.

"I am."

"Well first you would have to..."

The trick was deceptively simple. The only catch was that it required someone who was willing to use a potion that was extremely difficult and required a month of patient brewing.

Artemis went with the wiser option and just bribed Snape of a month of no pranks from the twins. Snape had agreed so fast he almost got whiplash. In exchange for the polyjuice potion, Snape would have a month to brew a particularly delicate potion without worry.

Then they needed someone to walk into the Ministry and let everyone see the damn scar.

That person would be Sirius. He would take his own place while his godfather pretended to be him. That way no one in the school would know that Sirius Black was in the castle.

One month of brewing, and Sirius added his own hair to the potion, and Padfoot took his place for the night. Snape had brewed enough of the stuff for him to keep it up till morning. The port key would take him back to the Shrieking Shack and Snape would smuggle him back in.

* * *

He walked into the Ministry with his bangs cut for the first time in five years. His hair tended to go all over the place if he kept it short, so normally Sirius let it go down past his neck. At least then it stayed flat.

Artemis had promised him a hair growth potion the second he came back.

Fudge attempted to get a front page photo of the Boy-who-lived, but Sirius was having none of that. Not unless he accomplished his goal.

"Harry, my boy! Where have you been all these years?"

_Harry_ curled his lips in distaste. He detested politicians on the best of days. And that simpering pink toad wasn't making this any easier.

"I only came back for one reason, _Minister_. I want my godfather freed and his charges dropped. He had nothing to do with my mother's plan. So I give you two choices. Either you drop the charges and get rid of those dementors from Hogwarts...or..."

"Or what my boy?"

"Or I leave the wizarding world in the dust to leave you to your own devices. Unless you want a new Dark Lord to succeed _Voldemort?"_

_Harry's_ smirk was cold, and promised pain if he was crossed. On the plus side he was revealing his true nature as a very intelligent and ambitious individual. Where Sirius Fowl was an enforcer who hid his true nature behind a false image, Harry Potter would be cold, cunning and more importantly not in the mood to fall for badly executed tricks for control.

This could be fun after all. He idly wondered how Dumbledore would react to his true nature. Then realized he didn't really give a damn.

Fudge was trying like hell to get Harry to reconsider his ultimatum. If he dropped the charges he would be ruined! And why did that smile give him a bad feeling?

Madam Bones walked up to the boy. He nodded in acknowledgment. She suspected this was not usual for the boy, but as a true sign of respect.

"You do realize we will have to confirm you are in fact Harry Potter, the boy-who-lived?"

"Go ahead and call the goblins if you must. I have been hiding in plain sight at Hogwarts for the past two months. Depending how you deal with my godfather you may end up with a new Dark Lord. One who actually _knows_ what he is doing."

That last bit was directed at Fudge and his followers. Between Fudge, Dumbledore and Voldemort, the magical community had taken a sharp nosedive.

"Very well. Come with me."

* * *

One hour later...

It had taken three drops of blood, a potion and a gryphon feather quill to prove he was in fact Harry James Potter. Which had set off a frenzy, and the main question seemed to be why he hadn't revealed himself two years ago.

"Why would I leave my home when Hogwarts couldn't teach me what I needed until third year? And no, I am _not _ going to tell you where I live."

Even some discreet Legilmens couldn't get it out of him. Until the moment when he entered the Ministry, Harry Potter simply didn't exist. And it was impossible to sign his name as Harry Potter with a gryphon feather and blood unless he actually was the boy in question.

It baffled them to no end.

Now Fudge was in a jam. Harry Potter, wizard world savior and the only person to survive the killing curse was threatening to either leave them and never come back or worse, take over he-who-must-not-be-named position as a Dark Lord!

It would be a total disaster. Even worse than the fall of Camelot. So he reluctantly signed the order for Sirius Black to have a trial. He would have to actually show up of course, and Harry had made very sure Fudge couldn't have the man Kissed when he entered by making him give an Unbreakable Vow in front of half the Ministry!

This was a nightmare.

* * *

_**Sirius Black innocent! Peter Pettigrew, traitor who betrayed the Potters Loose! Harry Potter blackmails Minister!**_

**In a shocking turn of events yesterday evening, Harry Potter, boy-who-lived arrived in the Ministry and demanded that Minister Fudge drop the charges on his godfather.**

**After proving that he was in fact the true Boy-who-lived, Harry Potter then proceeded to insure that his godfather would receive a fair and just trial, which according to Ministry records the Black family barrister has been trying to get for years.**

**How did the boy-who-lived manage to do something wiser and some would say more powerful wizards had failed with words? According the reliable witnesses Potter threatened to not only leave the Wizarding World permanently should Fudge refuse to give a man ****his day in court, but also take over where he**_**-**_**who-must-not-be-named left off!**

**Now should we wonder whether sending Black to Azkaban in the first place was such a wise idea.**

_Black gets his day in court! Potter threatens to turn Dark if Fudge refuses!_

_In a surprise move yesterday, Harry Potter, the boy-who-lived shows up after twelve years away from the Wizarding world to insure his godfather, the only wizard who had any idea of his whereabouts until now, finally had his trial. A trial which was over faster than you could say 'stupefy', as it was clear that Potter had not been kidnapped or killed by his godfather as the charges claim._

_Dumbledore was conspicuously missing from his chair of power, and rumor has it he is now looking for Harry Potter who is hiding under a different name._

_Now that Potter has returned, what other things can we expect this rather intelligent and ruthless young man to do?_

* * *

Hogwarts was in an uproar over the stunt he pulled. Even with the pictures of Harry Potter, taken discreetly when he went to the Ministry circulating around, no one realized Sirius Fowl was their missing savior.

On the other hand, Sirius was finally free and mostly hanging out with Butler for the time being. No one was aware that he was an illegal animagus, which meant he had a secret way to escape if need be.

Sirius (or Padfoot as he insisted the boys call him) had no idea that Artemis was planning on adding him to the family. He didn't realize that the genius level boy could see the honest love for his twin brother in his eyes. Artemis could tell he would never betray them.

The fact that he was a fully trained wizard was just a bonus. It simply meant they could blame all magic they did on him so long as Angeline wasn't there to see it.

Another addition to the Fowl arsenal was the addition of magic-compatible computers. The Fowl clan already had satellites which spanned the world, which meant they had internet no matter where they were.

(Unfortunately for Artemis, this new piece of technology had it's downside. It feed his brother's secret fanfiction addiction. Why his brother loved the fan written stories he had _no _idea. He also had a rather _large_ collection of Japanese comics called manga and cartoons called anime. Which is why Artemis really hated _Sailor Moon._)

Artemis found the application of turning himself into an animal rather useful, though the fact he would have to register annoyed him. Fortunately he had someone who had complete the work and not registered nearby.

He could always ask Snape for the potion and Padfoot for the help. The minute Snape figured out that Sirius was nothing like his father James or his godfather, he treated them a little easier. Apparently Snape had a grudge against James Potter and Sirius Black after years of hazing.

Sirius Fowl was no James Potter or Sirius Black. He only used his 'imp side' (what Butler termed his need to prank someone) when his friends were being bullied or someone really, really ticked him off.

Like Dumbledore, who suddenly found himself with a case of boils, acne, diarrhea, gout, constipation or a really nasty case of a head cold at least twice a week. When he really vexed the brothers (like he did when he tried to end Sirius' private lessons with Poppy, the school medi witch) he got something that the entire school dreaded.

Sirius had a large collection of what he called _Revenge Dolls_. Depending on his mood, the victim would either find himself with a rather bitchy comfort doll who whined like no one's business, and had a voice like nails on a chalkboard when she threw a tantrum, which was often. Or one which made his life hell by making it impossible to eat anything without tasting bog water and announced when he went to the bathroom and everything he was doing in there, or kept him up at all hours demanding he play with her.

Peeves of course loved the dolls, and actually got along with the sentient constructs (he was seen several times aided them in their quest to be annoying as hell. Strangely enough Myrtle, the ghost of the girl's bathroom joined them, often adding her own brand of misery).

Filch and Snape swore never to piss off the Fowl brothers.

To date, only a select few have actually had these rather evil dolls set on them. Dumbledore, Marcus Flint, Ron Weasly and Cho Chang after she made fun of Luna to the point of tears.

Though last week he sent one after Fudge for making a new law which really annoyed him greatly.

It was a law against werewolves. And since Sirius happened to like Remus enough for being a decent defense teacher...

He sent the most irritating doll he had created to date. Something that even the students at Hogwarts dreaded above all else.

He called it the Grim Fiend. It stalked the target, keeping them up at all hours with long howls which threw chills up your spine, keeping just out of sight at odd hours, drew attention at the worst moments, and (this was Sirius' favorite trick) stole all the good food from your plate and made your drink taste like bog water.

It had yet to be used, but Fudge got to be the lucky test subject.

Poor bastard.

Thanks to the Grim Fiend, Fudge was caught by several Aurors with a bag full of galleons courtesy of Lucius Malfoy. Of course Fudge attempted to shift the notice to Lucius, but as a Malfoy, he was more than skilled enough to shift it back.

Fudge was kicked out of office in less than a month after the Fiend was let loose. In a secret election a week later, Madam Bones was elected Minister.


End file.
